Quotable

Trying to put a plot or order to these quotes would rob them of their essence, which is random.  Assorted snippets from the last couple of weeks.  Welcome to our world.

• On the way through Chick Fil A to the bathroom: "Mama, you have pee?" like eight times.  In the bathroom: "Mama, you need toilet paper? I get toilet paper for you, Mama. [Tries to get it but can't figure it out.] Mama, you get toilet paper by yourself."

• We spent Labor Day playing at my friend Holly's house, which has every toy known to man and a pool.  Andrew napped not at all except 40 minutes in the car on the way home (beginning at 6:30pm).  Some actual bumps in the road abruptly ended the nap.  Once he figured out he was awake, he started wailing like a wounded animal for about half an hour.  I turned on my SuperMom and tried to comfort him.  This was our exchange during one those attempts.  M: "It's okay, Andrew.  Your mom's right here."  A: [wails * sobs * hits ] "Noooooo, you're [gasp] not [sniff] right here. [choke] [gasp ] You're [sniff] at [gasp] Holly's hooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuse."

• The next morning, he was cheerful and rested.  Then apparently I blinked funny or did something else wrong because he burst into tears, wailing "I need to go to Holly's hooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuse."

• "Everybody say 'Good job, Vivienne!'"  That was Andrew, not me, and it was at 10:30pm.

• "Mama, I hurt my body."

• "Mama, I got a boo boo right here and I got a boo boo right there and -- don't touch it Mama -- and I got a boo boo right here."

• [Successful moving of bowels into the potty, which is now in his bedroom, followed by this hysterical tantrum when I removed the potty and its overwhelming stench to the bathroom and immediately flushed the offender] "MAMA I WANTED TO SEE THAT POOP MAMAAAAA."

• [referring to his room-temp PJ pants] "It's very hot. Only Andrew touch it."

• Mom: "Andrew, do you want to eat your asparagus?" A: "No, I don't want it." M: "May I please eat it?" A: "No. You ate your food already."